On Change: Always Grateful – Never Jealous and Resentful

I am grateful to all of those who said no. It’s because of them, I did it myself – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyer

“It’s not fair! Why not me, why do I work so hard, will I ever get there, why is that happening?”

It’s so easy to compare, become restless, and question life, when you see someone being successful and apparently to be having all wishes fulfilled. At times it’s your good friend, a family member, or a stranger. They seem to have it all including early retirement and a leisurely life, a supportive relationship, an emotionally and financially strong family, and apparently no monetary and health concerns. It’s easy to get resentful when you compare yourself to others – a ‘reality’ that you only know and observe from the surface. And yeah, the grass appears often greener on the other side.

Generally, you do not take into consideration the losses, sacrifices, and struggles these individuals may have had in their lives – simply because you didn’t live those moments and you did not walk in their shoes.

You cannot wish for having someone else’s life – pardon me, I am wrong – sure you can. But it will and cannot change your own life. Fantasy is a good tool but only if applied to your own potential and opportunity: To grow and change we need to dare to dream, think, plan, and finally act big. Yet, before real change can occur, gratitude for what is – even if it is not exactly or far from what you would like – is needed. Unless you can appreciate the blessings – yes you have them please look harder – in your life, you will not be able to move forward and achieve and obtain new heights or simply find peace and quiet, both of which are needed to excel.

Remember it’s your life, your journey! Comparing yourself to anybody else – leaves you either frustrated and feeling inferior or elated and feeling better than someone else. Hmm, is either sentiment helpful and fulfilling, or maintainable? No! The truth is there is no comparison between you and anybody else. Why is that? Well, what’s the measure of comparison? We are all humans, correct – yet uniquely different. Our paths are individually carved and so are our aptitudes, abilities, motivation, and wishes.  Hence you can only compare yourself to YOU. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said so nicely, “My goal is not to be better than anyone else, but to be better than I used to be.”

If you meet a friend today that seems to have it all – send them love and light – acknowledge that they have what they have and be grateful and happy for them. It does neither add nor take anything away from you. Appreciate them as friends or family members in your life with all the little shortfalls and the potentially big hearts and other sweetness they bring to your life. No one is perfect – let’s acknowledge that.

Jealousy and resentment are a dark places. Make the most important choice right now and repeat after me: “I am like a sunflower – I am consciously turning toward light. Darkness is not profitable – emotionally, mentally, and moneywise.”

Switch on the light! Honesty, hard work, rest, realistic expectations, exercise, and daily enjoyment – it’s about small matters to be loved and enjoyed –  will move you forward towards your goal post, towards the light.

The human struggle is: To truly understand and accept that you cannot change others but only yourself. If you embrace this truth the impact you can make in the world is immeasurable. You add to kindness, peace, and better yourself and the world. That’s how you turn towards the light.

Gratitude – is that light – right here and now – and it’s also the light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing in life is promised – you forget that constantly – until you may get a glimpse of how it could be, for example, without the capacity to walk after a brief-lived sciatic nerve pain. Then you value your ability to get out of bed every morning for a short while until you forget.  It’s always your choice!  Your power! Your way of looking at things: “You can turn towards the light – gratitude – or towards darkness – jealousy and discontent. Looking forward to seeing you there my fellow travel: Meet me there – in the Light.

“New Day, New Rule, New Habit: Be like a sunflower – turn towards the light – always!” 

Dr. Daniela Schreier